Underneath Your Scars
by HammerHips
Summary: Story begins after Bella jumps off the cliff in New Moon. Bella's life takes a turn for the worse and she must learn to cope while embarking on a journey of self-discovery. AU and OOC. Jasper/Bella Rated M
1. Tribbles

**Chapter 1: Tribbles**

**A/N: This story starts out right after Bella jumps off the cliff in New Moon. It's mine from that point forward. **

**This is rated M, so if you aren't 18, please do not read. This story contains language, violence, and eventually lemons.**

**Please give a big cyber round of applause to givemesomevamp for being my Best Beta**

**Buddy Forever (BBBF, bitches).**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are not mine. I just like playing mind-tricks with them.**

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><p><strong>Please be patient as I upload this story. I am tweaking it a bit and then it is going back through the beta process. I will upload chapters as soon as they're ready, I promise.<strong>

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><p><strong>JaspersDestiny has taken on the daunting task of betareading my tweaked chapters and<strong> I will be forever in her debt. Thanks, bb. You're the awesomesauce on my ice cream sundae!<strong>**

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><p><em>I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain.<em>

_But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool – feet first, first time. I leaned_

_forward, crouching to get more spring…._

_And I flung myself off the cliff._

_I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor, but it was a scream of exhilaration_

_and not fear. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against_

_me and twirling me in spirals like a rock crashing to the earth._

_Yes! The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy,_

_colder than I'd feared, and yet the chill only added to the high._

_I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't had one moment_

_of terror – just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all. Where was the challenge?_

_That was when the current caught me._

_I'd been so preoccupied by the size of the cliffs, by the obvious danger of their high, sheer faces,_

_that I hadn't worried at all about the dark water waiting. I never dreamed that the true menace_

_was lurking far below me, under the heaving surf._

_ -Stephenie Meyer, New Moon_

**Bella**

Flailing. Thrashing. A ball of panic and terror. As my lungs were squeezed by the pressure, I choked and gagged on water. I could see sand swirling around me in intricate patterns and flashes of the sky and clouds with no definitive sense of direction. My throat burned with the suppressed urge to breathe, and my ears were pounding from the pressure. My heart was beating as fast as a hummingbird's wings and I could only hear the rumble of the ocean that surrounded me. As I opened my mouth to scream, all that escaped was a string of delicate bubbles as the edges of my vision blackened.

I sank further into the cold, dismal waters and something in me snapped. For a split second, I waited for my life to flash before my eyes and to be welcomed into an eternal slumber.

Death.

Peace.

Since the Cullens had abandoned me, this would be a welcome respite from the pain—pain from never being good enough for anyone, from always being a hindrance… A hindrance to Renee, to Charlie, to Jacob and the pack. To Edward. I had never been good enough for any of them. Not worth the effort. By welcoming this watery grave, I would no longer be a hindrance to anyone. They could stop worrying about poor, helpless Isabella. I could give them that much. No, I am not being selfish in welcoming death, but selfless.

Selfless. Always putting others' needs before my own. But, it wasn't completely true. Yes, I had put my needs behind those of others, but why? Because I'd always felt that my worth was less than those in my life. Their lives all mattered. They had redeeming qualities. Somewhere in my muddled psyche I had concluded that my happiness didn't matter, that I was not worth it.

_"You're wrong you know. I can feel what you're feeling now—and you are worth it."_

My brain tried fruitlessly to connect this voice with its owner as I slipped even further behind the veil of unconsciousness. Suddenly my body slammed into something hard as the last tendrils of awareness slipped away, and the mystery voice was carried away on the wind.

_"You are worth it."_

"Breathe, damn you!" a deep raspy voice yelled, but how the hell was I supposed to breathe when Niagara Falls was rushing out of my every orifice?

"Breathe, Bella, please!" I recognized the voice of Embry. What the hell is he doing here? Why didn't he just let me die?

Then coughing, spluttering, and an involuntary surge of air entered my lungs. It felt like thousands of tiny needles were dancing on my skin, and my brain was in a different realm altogether.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Are you okay?" another voice asked. Sam… The voice was Sam's.

"Yeah, I think I just need a nap." I wheezed, and then what little clarity I had became quite veiled. Only a few words after that seemed to seep through while I lost myself to the darkness once more.

"Stay on top of her Embry…Victoria…stay…guard…must phase…"

If I'm dead, then why do I feel like I just took on a sumo wrestler and lost? And why does my throat burn? And what the fuck is that tickling my nose?

Just open your eyes and see what the hell is going on, Bella. You never know, it could be some big winged dude at the pearly gates trying to get your attention by tickling your nose and…whining? That's it! Open your eyes a little more, a little more and…Tribbles? Whining tribbles?

Methinks I'm not in Kansas anymore. And, judging from the amount of sand I have rummaging around in my asscrack, I'm not on the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk either. Oh, but if I was under Captain Kirk, I wouldn't give two shits about the three cubic feet of sand that is residing in my undergarments. I would be thinking about ripping his shirt off like a Tarcassian Razorbeast.

Focus, Bella! I need to figure out what the fuck is going on, why I see tribbles, and where the whining is coming from. Also, it would be pretty nice to figure out if I am alive or dead, just sayin'. Time to work on my motor skills and turn my head just a bit. There we go… That looks like a paw in the sand. Yep, a paw, sand, two tribbles, and whining. Time to fire up those synapses and get my remaining brain cells firing so I can fit these pieces together.

Judging by the monstrous headache and the fact that I can still see sand, I conclude that I did not die. Hooray for me. Fanfuckingtastic. I can't even die properly. Oh, and I also speculate that those aren't tribbles tickling our nose. Nope, definitely not tribbles. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I am staring at a wolf's nut sac. Jeebus, those things are huge! How the hell do they run with those things swinging in the breeze? And, geez, don't you think they could at least trim the bastards? That amount of hair can't be sanitary.

Okay, time to get back on track. I know I am on the beach underneath a werewolf. How about the growling? And how do I see around the giant knackers without teabagging myself in the forehead?

"Umm, I'd like to try sitting up now. Would you mind moving?" I croaked.

Suddenly the wolf shifted its position and I was staring at two black, beady eyes. The whining subsided and a giant slobbery tongue licked me from my chin to my forehead.

"Eww, gross Embry. You are Embry, right?" I questioned. The wolf nodded sharply in response.

I carefully raised myself up on my elbows, fighting against a current of dizziness. My breathing was shallow due to the rawness of my throat, my head throbbed, and every muscle in my body ached in protest. Gradually I was able to stand up, and although my legs felt like jelly I was confident I could make it back to my truck. I knew if I didn't start heading back now, I wouldn't make it to my truck before nightfall. And hell, if wasn't going to die today then I would sure like to get into a hot shower and some clean clothes—preferably before Charlie returned from work because this wouldn't be an easy day to explain. And I certainly didn't want to take a trip to the hospital, which would undoubtedly end in a psychiatric evaluation.

"Umm, I'm heading up to my truck now. I need to head home before Charlie is off work, otherwise…well, let's just say that conversation wouldn't be very pretty."

Embry wolf cocked his head to the side momentarily and then ran behind some large rocks a short distance down the beach. A few seconds later, a bare-chested human Embry trotted back over.

"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital, Bella? You were unconscious for quite a while." Embry questioned.

"No. No hospitals. I'll be fine, Embry. This is one experience I don't want to have to explain. Charlie would flip his shit." He chuckled at my exclamation. Then before I had a chance to protest, he scooped me up bridal style and started jogging in the direction of my truck.

"Whoa, I can walk you know!" There was no reason for me to be carried like an invalid. Sure, I was sore and I felt like shit, but I could still walk.

"My way's faster, and we need to hurry so I can phase back as soon as possible. The rest of the pack is on that bloodsucker's tail and I don't like being left out of the loop," he stated firmly.

"Oh no, Embry," I whispered as I bit my lip. "I can walk from here. You should be with your pack, not here with the weak little human."

"Chill, Bella!" he demanded. "They're all fine. She got away from them again, and they're just following her trail trying to track her down."

Resigned to the fact that his way was faster, since I was positive that I couldn't move this fast without falling, I relaxed in his arms. Comfortable silence enveloped me until my truck was in view, and then Embry gingerly sat me on my feet while holding his hand out for my keys. Once we were in the truck and on our way to Forks, Embry gave me a questioning look and said, "Bella, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but what the hell were you thinking?"

"Jake was busy and he was supposed to take me cliff diving. I didn't want to wait. It was actually quite fun until the water and almost drowning part. That just pissed me off."

"You could have died, Bella. If Sam and I hadn't come back to patrol the rez…well, I don't even wanna think of what would have happened. You weren't even trying to swim when I reached you. You looked like you just gave up. And while you might not look like you weigh much, you were like a damn lead weight in the water," he stated while rubbing his forehead with his massive hand.

"Yeah, well, thanks for saving my giant lard ass then. And by the way, what the hell was with the teabagging on the shore? That was a fucking stupendous way to wake up, by the way. You really need to trim your gargantuan sac there, Embry. That shit's just nasty."

Embry barked out a laugh. "Hey, I was just following Sam's orders. 'Stay on top of her, Embry. Victoria's trail is heading back this way. Just stay with her and guard her. Stay phased so you can keep us updated on her status'," he said in a poor imitation of Sam's voice. With a smile on his face he asked, "And what the hell is up with your potty mouth, Bella? Before I pulled your ass outta the ocean, I'd never even heard you say 'crap'."

"Lack of oxygen to the brain has a tendency to break my verbal filter. And you still didn't explain why I woke up to your balls in my face," I muttered, looking down at my lap.

"I figured you wouldn't wanna wake up to dog breath, so I turned around. I guess I didn't think that one through. My bad." He pulled up to the curb outside my house. "Uh-oh, Bella. Looks like you've got some explaining to do." I followed Embry's gaze to see Charlie's police cruiser parked in the driveway.

I groaned as Embry opened his door and stiffened. His head shot up in the direction of my house. Confused at his sudden change in demeanor, I asked, "What is it?"

"Vampire. The redhead is around here somewhere. I need to phase and get the pack here, Bella. You think you're capable of driving back to Billy's place? 'Cause you need to get the hell outta here now!"

Before his words had time to register, I had pitched myself out of the pickup and was moving faster than I had thought possible to my front door. Pure terror was coursing through my veins as one name kept cycling through my head.

Charlie.

I wrenched the front door open and my body collapsed as I catalogued the scene before me.


	2. Live For Me

**Chapter 2: Live for Me**

***WARNING* This chapter is dark, twisted, and violent. It is integral to move the story along, but if extreme gore makes you uncomfortable then you might want to wait for the next chappy. If you aren't 18, you need to get the hell out now! This story is rated M.**

**A/N: A nice snuggly hug to my beta, givemesomevamp. And to JaspersDestiny for betareading the tweaked version. I heart you both.**

**Disclaimer: These characters still aren't mine…**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

The noxious scents of blood and death assaulted my senses as I braced a hand on the doorway to pull myself up to my feet. The entire world seemed erratic and unsteady as I fought against the darkness that threatened to envelop my mind. My entire body was trembling violently in the effort to stay upright while I steeled myself against the panic and fear that crashed against my body in steady waves.

My eyes scanned for anything recognizable. Splinters of wood and chunks of plaster were strewn about in a violent pattern, and the light from above flickered across millions of shards of glass. Photos were shredded like confetti, dancing amongst the rubble. Scraps of upholstery and chunks of wood were scattered over the counters, hanging haphazardly out of the sink, and sprinkled between the kitchen and living room. All of this registered in the back of my mind, but I was focused on the red. Red drops, swirls, and streams stenciled in the detritus. Blood. Two spidery creeks of blood contrasted against the white linoleum. Thickened rivers turned the carpet into a macabre sponge.

I choked back a scream as a gurgled moan manifested from a darkened corner of the living room. Stumbling through the mess and debris, I gasped as I crumpled next to the bloody mass. The man's body from the waist down was crushed and twisted into meaningless lumps of flesh, sticky with sweat and blood. One hand had been wrenched savagely from his body, and there were half a dozen crescent shaped marks scattered over his torso. A shard of wood had lanced his side, perforating a lung. His face was battered and bloody, but his dark eyes looked exactly as I remembered. I focused on his eyes just as a spark of realization hit him.

Almost silently, his voice rattled simply, "Live for me, Bella. I love you."

As the realization entered my body, I could feel my soul bruise.

"Jacob," I sobbed, paying no heed to the streams of tears running down my cheeks.

Jacob. My sun. Dead. Jacob sacrificed himself to protect me and Charlie.

Charlie. Oh, God, Charlie! Where is my father?

Nausea twisted my stomach into knots as my heartbeat skyrocketed. I have to find Charlie. The tremors throughout my body were increasing as I rose, slowly stumbling. My panic reached a fevered pitch. Moving stiffly and unevenly, I followed the second river of blood through the back door. My eyes widened in wretched horror as I tried to comprehend the scene before me.

It felt like my own blood spilled at the sight. So broken, so torn… My eyes refused to fully adjust as I took an uncontrolled step back, and I slipped and fell as my shoes searched for traction on the wet leaves, my body trying to protect my now fragile mind from the sight outside. Even in the darkness my mind registered it all. Too much. But it would forever be burned into my memory. Never would I forget this, never.

Viscera littered the ground, intertwined with small chunks of flesh. Blood drip, drip, dripped from the green fauna. A gun belt and a police badge lay at my feet, drenched in a curtain of blood, and hanging between two trees, thirty feet off the ground, was my father crucified, arms splayed wide, welcoming death. His hands were bound and tied with thick cord, his wrists impaled on branches. His throat was torn and jagged, and blood covered his partially clothed torso. His feet dangled unrestricted, moving slightly in the breeze. A large hole the size of a softball had been carved into the soft tissues of his stomach, revealing what remained of his intestines. The entire left side of his face was battered and bruised, and his left eye was dangling precariously out of its socket, tickling his moustache. Those eyes that had sparkled with mischief and happiness would never be the same again.

The bile in my throat could no longer be contained. I found myself crouched on the ground outside my house, heaving onto the forest floor. There was no more pain, no more emotion. There was nothing but numbness as the edges of my vision blackened and the darkness called to me once more. The world around me was silent, no noises manifesting outside the numbing cocoon I created to protect myself from the macabre reality tugging at my brain. Silent as death itself. I lifelessly slumped sideways on the damp bracken and willed the ground to swallow me whole. My hand reached out of its own volition and grasped the metal object that symbolized my father's life. Never before had I seen it in less than pristine condition, shining on his lapel. A tattered piece of cloth hung from its back; mud, blood, and debris covered the surface, congealing into a grisly paste. My fingers tightened painfully around it as a scream bubbled out of my throat and shattered the last remaining fragment of my soul. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered a pained howl coming from behind me. Inside my house, Embry had found Jacob, and his soul was shattering as well. Because of me.

Worthless. You leave destruction in your wake, Bella. You have destroyed the two people in your life that unconditionally cared for you. You have nothing left. Nothing.

As the darkness threatened to pull me down once more, I heard my name whispered on the wind.

"Bella."

It was faint, but my brain registered it, kicking my adrenaline into overdrive once more and augmenting my senses.

"Bella."

"Who's there?" My voice croaked out almost silently.

"Sam."

My head snapped to the right, and before my brain could respond, my feet were traveling toward the voice. There, underneath the broken and twisted bushes, I caught sight of Sam. He was injured but alive. Deep claw marks ran down his left arm, but they were already healing. His left leg was bent into an unnatural position and would have to be set soon; otherwise it might never heal properly. But he was alive.

"Sam, what can I do?" The unending waterfall of tears were still escaping down my cheeks, clouding my vision. My voice was quiet, hoarse, and choked, but I knew he would be able to hear me with his supernatural senses.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. We split from the others to follow this trail and it was a trap. She had another with her, and we underestimated them. We tried to protect Charlie…we tried…" His voice was thick with emotion as his voice trailed off. "Bella, you have to go back to La Push now. She is still out there. Someone will come for me and I will be fine, but you are still in danger. If she finds you here—"

"No!" I interrupted, my voice finding strength I didn't know I had. "No, I will not endanger any of you any longer. You said it was safe. You said she wasn't a threat to you, and now Jacob and Charlie are dead. They aren't coming back, and it's because of me! I can't risk your lives any longer. And Billy, oh God, Billy… I don't think I will ever be able to look him in the eyes again. His only son, dead because of me!"

"You can't give up, Bella. You can't. You have to go back to La Push."

_Live for me, Bella_. Jacob's last words echoed through my brain. Through all the fear and terror, through all the heartache and pain, I prepared myself for the path that I knew I had to take. I had to walk away. Somehow, I knew if I stayed here hiding behind the wolves, with all the reminders of Jacob and Charlie, I would never truly live again. And I needed to live. Not only for Jacob, but for Charlie. For myself.

"I'm not giving up, but I am not staying. I can't. I'm sorry. I promise to fight, to live, but not here. I can't bear watching anyone else sacrifice their life for mine. Please, you have to let me go."

_I'm no good for you_. His words echoed through my head and I realized just how wrong he was. I was the one that was no good for him. For anyone. I knew that I should be despising the Cullens for abandoning me, but to be honest, I only felt relief that they left before I could destroy their family too.

I could hear Embry's distressed whimpering advancing on me. I turned and looked up slightly to find his tortured gaze. "Embry, are any of the others injured? Are they all safe?" He nodded. "Are they still following Victoria?" He nodded once more. "You need to get Sam back to La Push. Get him to Emily. Sam is the priority now." His eyes sparkled with determination. He nudged my shoulder with his muzzle and I leaned into his comforting gesture. "I'll be fine for now. Take care of Sam."

"Sam, I hate to ask this of you, but could you take care of everything here? I can't…I just can't." My throat restricted once again, and I knew if I continued with this conversation I would lose the nerve to walk away.

With a resigned sigh and a heavy voice, he said, "We will take care of it. I can tell you are sure of your path for now. But if you ever change your mind, call us. It is our job to protect our people. "

I bent down, moving branches out of my way, and kissed his cheek gingerly. Pushing my swirling emotions down and replacing them with resolve, I stood and walked around the house to my waiting truck just as rain started to fall.

Thankfully, Embry had left the keys in the ignition, and the sound of the engine roaring to life barely registered to my ears. I buckled my seatbelt and took off with no specific destination in mind. I had my bag and wallet in the car, but it wouldn't get me far. My eyes were still blurred with tears, and I knew I should be focusing solely on driving, but I thought if I could grasp an objective as simple as a destination then I could keep my mind from focusing on the images that threatened to drag me into the abyss. Renee. No. I couldn't call her; I couldn't ask her for assistance. That would endanger her and Phil. I had to cling to the idea that if I stayed as far away from Renee as possible, Victoria would leave her alone.

Alone.

I was completely alone now. Desperate, practically penniless, and alone. Tears of rage, desperation, and isolation continued to pour down my cheeks as my truck twisted along the winding road. Biting my lip painfully, trying to drown out all of the negative thoughts and emotions that swirled relentlessly around my broken heart, I tried to force myself to focus on the road. My truck barreled around another curve, racing away from Forks, and my headlights flashed through the thick foliage illuminating blurs of green. Then suddenly a streak of red passed in front of me, followed by two large creatures. Wolves.

I slammed my foot on the brake pedal and jerked the steering wheel to the right to avoid hitting the creatures in the road. The wet tires howled in protest as they failed to grip the asphalt, and a panicked scream once again erupted from my throat as I threw my arms up to protect my face. I was thrown hard against the steering wheel as the truck careened to a stop amidst the vegetation.

Slowly leaning back, I tried to concentrate on steadying my breathing. Pain blossomed from my ribs and chest, making the act of inhalation harrowing. I shook my head slightly, trying to clear the cloudiness from my thoughts and vision, as a figure popped up in my periphery. A werewolf.

Quickly cataloguing my newest aches and pains, I turned to face the wolf and stated in a hopefully convincing tone, "I'm fine. Go, follow your brother. Don't leave him alone." The thought of another injury to the wolf pack just because I am a danger magnet was unfathomable. He took one last glance then darted back into the woods to catch up with his partner.

Knowing that Victoria was close, I knew I had to get out of this predicament fast. Thankfully, the truck was still running and seemed to be no worse for wear, so I put it in reverse and attempted to carefully back onto the road. The tires spun, unable to acquire grip on the wet foliage. Not knowing whether to sigh or to cry, I exited the vehicle to see if I could find something to place under the tires to help regain traction. After one step, my feet struggled to keep purchase and I fell hard on my backside.

That's it. That's the last straw. I can't take anymore.

My shoulders sagged in defeat as the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. And that wasn't the only thing on my shoulders. I felt two cold, delicate hands snake around my neck as all of the hairs on my body stood on end.

My throbbing head listlessly turned around, expecting to stare death in the face. Instead, two golden eyes exuding sadness stared right back at me.

Alice.


	3. Is She Really Here?

**Chapter 3: Is She Really Here?**

**A/N: I know this is getting a bit repetitive, but if you are under 18, please go away. This is rated M, and I don't want my fic to rot your delicate little mind. If you have made it this far, then you already know this story contains language, violence, and eventual lemons.**

**Special thanks go out to my amazing beta givemesomevamp. Her praise, reassurance, and patience are unparalleled. Thanks for putting up with my brand of crazy, sweetie.**

**We can't forget the lovely, amazing, talented, hilarious JaspersDestiny for betareading the tweaked version. I owe you a motorboat.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns it, not me.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Bella."

_Is she really here?_

"Bella."

_I can feel her, and I'm pretty sure you can't feel figments of your imagination._

"Bella!" She gripped my shoulders firmly and shook me, panic shooting through her eyes.

_Yep, it's her. Figments don't panic. I think she is waiting for me to say something._

"Alice, is it really you?" I breathed.

"Yes, I am here." Hesitantly, she asked, "Are you okay, Bella? I can tell you aren't bleeding, but do you need to be treated for anything immediately?" I felt a whoosh of wind, and then Alice was kneeling in front of me, her eyes wandering over my body, cataloguing my injuries.

_Time for a mental check of your injuries, Bella: sore throat, pounding headache, chest hurts, can't breathe, soul is shattered beyond repair._

"I'll be fine," I reassured her, hoping it sounded genuine, but she gave me a knowing glance and sighed.

"We need to get out of here before Victoria circles back around. Come on." Moving at vampire speed, she collected my meager belongings from the truck, scooped me up bridal style, and took off into the forest.

I forced my eyes to stay open as we blurred past the trees, afraid of the images I might see. A million questions were occupying my brain, keeping less pleasant thoughts at bay.

"Alice?"

"Bella, I know you have questions. I promise that we will sit down and talk, but right now we need to focus on getting well away from the danger here."

_Danger. Doesn't she know she is cradling the greatest danger of her existence in her arms?_

I was so consumed by my thoughts that I didn't notice Alice had stopped until I stumbled as my feet once again met the ground. I was standing outside the Cullen mansion, a place I had deliberately avoided since they abandoned me. On the overgrown driveway sat Carlisle's Mercedes, the driver's side door open and the engine running. Through the windows of the house I could see a frenzied Alice moving from room to room with speed and purpose. I jumped as the front door slammed and Alice glided over, ushering me into the passenger seat of the car as she threw some luggage into the trunk. Before I could blink, Alice was sitting next to me, her golden eyes shining with determination.

"Buckle up, Bella," she demanded, never taking her eyes off of the driveway.

Pain trickled through my body as my arm reached for the seatbelt, following her command. I fumbled through the soreness, but my seatbelt was securely fastened by the time we left the Cullens' driveway, headed for our unknown destination. Uncomfortable silence engulfed the car as we coasted along the twisted road heading for the interstate. I focused on the melodic sounds of the steady raindrops dancing across the windshield and the whooshing noise from the open windows as the hurricane of thoughts and emotions threatened to envelop me.

"Umm, Alice, where are we going?" I squeaked out.

"Olympia, for now. We will have to stop for gas somewhere along the way, but I wanted to get as much distance between us and Forks as possible. There is a truck stop just outside Queets. You can take a quick shower, and we can both change out of our wet clothes. I know you are cold, and I'm sorry, but I need the windows down for now," she said sheepishly. I hadn't even noticed the tremors running through my body.

"Oh, God, Alice, I'm sorry! Is my scent bothering you?" It had been too long, and I had forgotten that my scent was particularly pleasing to vampires.

"No, the scent of your blood is the furthest thing from my mind right now. Honestly, you just stink, Bella. Did you get a dog?" she asked.

"Werewolf," I whispered. As I hung my head, I noticed that a mosaic of blood was scattered across my clothing. Jacob's blood. Sobs were forming in my chest and threatening to escape as the gruesome images of his death flooded my mind.

"Werewolves, Bella? Care to explain?" Her question was a welcome distraction from the horrifying images that were careening through my mind.

In a robotic manner, I explained how I discovered that some of the teens from La Push had started phasing again and that my new best friend, Jake, was one of them. Not allowing any emotion to betray my voice, I described my encounter with Laurent in the meadow and my first glimpse of the wolves. I briefly explained how Victoria had returned and the wolves had been protecting me as I pushed the disturbing memories from my mind. After I was finished, Alice's eyes were wide with shock as she attempted to process this new information. I fidgeted in my seat, waiting for her to say something to break the silence once more.

"Well, that explains the smell," she said, eliciting a snort from me in response.

"Alice, why did you come back to Forks?" The thought that she came back to save me and not Charlie or Jake ricocheted through my brain, sending my heartbeat skyrocketing. _No. Alice loved Charlie. She wouldn't do that. _Streams of tears started trailing down my cheeks once more. "Did you see what happened?"

"No. I promised Edward I wouldn't deliberately look into your future, but sometimes visions slip through and I can't help it. I saw you jump, Bella. And then, nothing. Your future went completely blank. It still hasn't cleared yet. It's all fuzzy. I just don't understand. I thought you were dead, so I packed a bag and headed to Forks, hoping I could bring some comfort to Charlie." Her voice choked with emotion when she said his name. She did care for him; she would never hurt Charlie. "I was a block away from your house when I smelled…well, now I know it was werewolf, but at the time I didn't know the scent, so I decided to drive back to our place and investigate on foot. What the hell were you thinking, Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at her tone; she sounded just like Charlie.

Charlie, covered in blood. His eyes. Dead. Gone. _No, Bella, focus! Focus on Alice. Yes, Alice. She asked a question. Answer the question, Bella. Don't think about Charlie._

"Umm, cliff diving?" I mumbled. "I wasn't trying to kill myself, Alice. Jake had promised to take me cliff diving and, well, I decided not to wait. It was actually quite fun until the almost drowning part, but Embry saved me and then…testicles…?" I trailed off into nothing as the memories I had been trying to suffocate threatened to surface with a vengeance.

_Charlie, Jacob, blood, death, destruction_. My breaths increased rapidly as the images swirled through my mind.

"Excuse me? Testicles?"

"Never mind, Alice."

"Bella," she said in what was supposed to be in a comforting tone, "can you tell me what happened? I never made it back to your house. I caught that scent again in the woods and followed its trail. I came across you by accident, and you had Charlie's shield in your hand covered in his blood. I just assumed…"

_Scent._ Sam's words echoed through my mind._ She had another with her._

"Did you pick up the scent of Victoria or any other vampires? Sam said she had someone with her."

"No, but the werewolf scent was so strong it is possible it masked the scent of another," she said, her face scrunched up in concentration. "Back to my question, Bella. I know you don't want to talk about it, but can you tell me what happened?"

"Dead," I choked out. "Both Jacob and Charlie. Victoria killed them and injured Sam. I…I can't…I don't…" My eardrums pounded, and I knew it was too soon. Details could not be given. My life was torn asunder, and I felt as if my survival depended on repressing those memories.

Tearless sobs wracked Alice's body as my words sank into her consciousness. "I'm so sorry, Bella. We should have never left you. This is our fault."

_I'm no good for you…danger magnet…everything I touch dies…danger…danger…Alice…_

I started panicking as the realization that I was putting Alice in danger resurfaced. No, I couldn't endanger Alice. I wouldn't endanger Alice. My hands fumbled for the door handle. I had to get away from her, put as much distance as possible between us. Alice must have observed my sudden agitated state because she quickly reached over and grasped both of my hands, keeping one firmly on the steering wheel.

"I don't know what has gotten into you, Isabella Swan, but you stop that _now_! Calm down and tell me why you're trying to throw yourself out of this car!"

"You can't be near me, Alice. You're in danger. I've already lost Charlie and Jacob, I can't lose you as well! " I screamed. "Please, you have to let me go. Just let me go."

_I'm no good for you._

"_You_ are being ridiculous. We'll get through this, Bella," she said calmly as we pulled up outside the truck stop. We were lucky; our car was the only one in the parking lot. The last thing we needed was someone questioning my appearance. She released my hands and grabbed the two bags from the rear seat. We exited the car and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders as we entered the store, scurrying into the showers.

I had just finished showering when Alice reappeared in the bathroom. She handed me a brush and I hastily combed through my ratty locks, pulling them up in a makeshift bun.

"Hurry up, slowpoke. We need to get moving." Alice bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, impatience exuding from every pore.

As I stuffed the brush into my bag, my hand contacted a foreign object I had failed to notice earlier. "Alice, what's this?" I questioned as I curiously pulled the manila envelope from the sack.

She rolled her eyes as she snatched it from my grasp. "Jasper had these made last year after the incident with James, and we had left them in Forks. He likes to be prepared for all possible scenarios. Emmett insisted we use his last name," she explained as she dumped the contents into my waiting hands. A passport, a driver's license, and a credit card. My last school photo was on the passport and license, but the name Annabelle McCarty graced all three.

"The credit card is already activated, so don't argue. I looked in your wallet earlier and you aren't going to get far with less than a hundred dollars." Her voice was stern. I could tell she was preparing for my protestations, but they wouldn't come. To truly hide from Victoria, I would need all three items.

"Thank you." I closed the distance quickly and gave her a hug that hopefully encompassed all the love and gratefulness I was feeling.

Alice stiffened as her eyes became distant. This was an expression I immediately recognized; she was having a vision. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as glimmers of pain and panic skittered across her face. Her body started trembling slightly as she sunk to the floor.

"Alice! Alice! What is it?" Panic was rising throughout my body as the future danced through her mind.

A strangled sob escaped from her throat and she shook her head minutely as she returned to the present. She slowly lifted her head and her tortured gaze pierced straight through my heart.

"It's okay, Bella. Don't worry, you're safe. It wasn't Victoria. It was completely unrelated. But I need you to stay here for a minute. I have to go check something out and I will be back before you know it. Just let me go ask the attendant a question and I'll be right back."

Before I could answer, she bolted out of the restroom, leaving me crumpled on the floor. I sat there for an unknown amount of time attempting to regulate my breathing and fighting against the flow of panic, pain, and anguish. Just as I felt the control on my emotions breaking, the door flew open and Alice was standing before me once more, her face a calculated mask of calm. "What was it? What did you see?" I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer.

"Calm down, Bella. It was nothing. I just saw that Jasper was going to track me and end up in Forks, where he would come across an irate pack of werewolves." As she continued, I thought I saw a flash of deceit glint in her eyes, but I had to trust her. She once told me she would always tell me the truth. "He doesn't have his cell phone on him, so I have to go intercept him before someone gets hurt. I'm sorry, but I need to leave you here for now. We can't risk Victoria crossing your path."

I nodded. This is what I wanted originally. I had asked her to let me go in the car, and even though the loneliness and despair were painful, I knew it was for the best. If she stayed with me, she would just end up broken, or worse.

"I talked to the attendant, and there's a bus stop right out front that will take you to the train depot. You can buy a ticket with your card, and I put cash in your wallet. I hate to leave you here, Bella, but I have to go now."

She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a half smile. A thought rushed to the forefront of my mind as she turned around to walk away.

"How will I contact you if I need you?" I asked.

"Don't worry," she replied as she tapped her temple, "I can see you now. You will be safe, and I'll find you as soon as I can." She disappeared through the door as I rose to my feet.

By the time I stepped outside in the cool night air, the rain had stopped. I noticed the space in which Carlisle's car had been parked was gone and I let out a small sigh. I wandered around the edge of the building until I located the bus stop, and I leaned against the phone booth situated against the run-down brick wall.

Focusing all my efforts on steadying my breathing to keep my thoughts from wandering, I jumped when the phone behind me began to ring. I looked around for no particular reason; it just seemed like the right thing to do as I debated answering.

_It's not like you have anything better to do, Bella._

I picked up the dirty receiver, making a mental note to go wash my hands.

"H—Hello."

"Hey there, Puddin'! I need you to listen closely to me, okay?" His voice was gruff. Not a normal gruff; it somehow seemed contrived.

"Do I know you? Are you watching me?" I asked, my eyes scanning the darkness for unseen threats.

"No, Puddin', we haven't met yet, but I need you to listen to me, okay? It's important."

"Okay." I felt like I was in an episode of _The Twilight Zone_. This was all too surreal.

"Now, I need you to do me a favor. Ignore whatever the little Pixie told you to do, march your bony ass back into the store, buy some cheap whiskey, and go check into that little dive of a motel across the street."

"Who the fuck are you, and why should I do anything you say?" Irritation and fear bubbled throughout my body at his mention of Alice.

"Look, Puddin', who I am isn't important. What _is_ important is that I know you're a person on the edge. The edge of _what_ is the question. Whether it's greatness or catastrophe is all up to you."

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Listen, I know this entire situation is as absurd as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass, and I can't give you a sound reason to listen to me, but know that I'm certain if you do what I say, it will lead you down the path to the remainder of your destiny. If you go to that hotel, I guarantee your knight in shining ugly-ass loafers won't be far behind. Please! " he pleaded.

I let out a resigned sigh and said, "I can't buy liquor. I'm only 18."

He snorted. "Puddin', I know you have a license in your satchel that says you're 21. The alcohol will help dull your pain and help you relax. Trust me."

I heard the telltale click signaling the line was dead. As I hung up the receiver, a single thought crossed my mind.

_I know I shouldn't bet against Alice, but what the hell do I have to lose?_


	4. Lies & Rescues

**Chapter 4: Lies and Rescues**

**Once again, this story is rated M, so under 18s should leave now.**

**Thanks to my BBBF, givemesomevamp, who is a master beta-er. Hrmm. That didn't come out right. Nevertheless, she is awesome!**

**I bow before the amazing abilities of JaspersDestiny who is betareading the version I completely fuck up with rewrites. I owe you some Smurf Jizz!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own it.**

* * *

><p>I was sitting on the edge of a small outcropping of rock watching my beast of a brother climb a tree, cradling a small bird in his enormous hand. We'd been roughhousing around the forest and slammed into a tree, causing it to shake and groan wildly. On one of the lower branches, a small nest was jostled loose, and the delicate baby woodpecker had plummeted to the ground. Once I informed him that the species was endangered, he jumped into action.<p>

"Hey, Em, I hate to break it to ya, but your scent is all over that bird now and its momma is gonna avoid it like the plague."

He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "It's the only one in the nest and I have to give it a chance, bro. We can check on it in a few days, and if its mother doesn't take care of it, then we can go from there."

"If you want, I can dig for worms. You could always chew 'em up and feed 'em to the little guy."

He deposited the bird in its nest and gracefully leaped to the ground. "I have a better idea! Let's finish what we started. How about I chew you up and spit you out?"

"You'll have to catch me first," I quipped as I darted toward Emmett, kicking him in the back of the knee and elbowing him in the forehead, causing his body to crumple to the ground. I took off into the trees toward the house, knowing that if he caught me there would be hell to pay.

"No fair, Jasper! I told you it's against the rules to use that kung fu shit on me." His words echoed through the forest, followed by my booming laugh. For the first time in months, I was actually enjoying myself.

The family had scattered mere days after we abandoned Forks. Rosalie took Emmett to Africa, hoping the big game could distract him from thoughts of Bella. Alice took an extended vacation to Paris while Carlisle, Esme, and I settled outside of Vancouver. I didn't really give a shit where Edward was; he left directly from Forks and only contacted Carlisle occasionally.

At first I had planned on leaving, since I knew I needed time to sort through my own hurricane of emotions without having to absorb anyone else's. To say I was surprised when Carlisle called the family meeting and insisted Rose, Em, and Alice take a short holiday would be an understatement. Almost immediately, understanding had seeped into the room. They knew how difficult it would be for me to move on with an audience. I was extremely grateful that everyone agreed but confused that Carlisle and Esme insisted I stay.

The day after everyone departed, the three of us went on an extended hunt. Although their grief and pain were prominent, they worked to mask those emotions and exude only love and support. I was sitting in the grass with my knees pulled up to my chest, arms wrapped around them, as I stared into nothingness when Carlisle found me. He sat down, mimicking my position, and we sat for hours discussing everything that had transpired. I knew he never blamed me for attacking Bella, but it was nice to hear him vocalize that. He was the only one in the family that knew I battled my own bloodlust as well as everyone else's.

We had discussed it privately many times over the years and I always insisted it stay between us. The last thing I wanted was to feel guilt radiating off of the others whenever we ventured out into the human world. I knew that if I had to cope with their bloodlust _and_ guilt, the monster I fought to rein in would be set free. Of course, Edward knew. You can't keep secrets from a mind reader, even if he didn't mention it. Rose once told me that after she was turned Carlisle had to intervene in a particularly bad brawl between the two of them; Carlisle was forced to explain that even though he was a mind reader, a person's secrets were just that, secrets. I would have liked to believe that his reasons for staying quiet were noble, but my instincts told me otherwise.

No matter how much we discussed it, I still felt guilt for my part. I was the one who savagely attacked a member of my family, and even if Carlisle didn't blame me, it wouldn't assuage the emotion. I had argued for hours before we left Forks that I should be able to go and apologize to Bella personally, but Edward insisted that we all leave without further contact. I tried explaining to everyone that this was a mistake—I knew how deep her love for all of us ran—but Carlisle requested that we abide by Edward's wishes, even the ridiculous notion that Alice should not look into her future.

In the days that followed our little chat in the woods, Carlisle, Esme, and I would sit around and discuss the situation. Both of them harbored guilt over leaving her the way we did, but both held out hope that we would see her again soon. Carlisle explained that the only reason he allowed Edward to call the shots was because he truly believed if they were true mates it would be impossible for them to be separated for very long.

Throughout these conversations my mind would drift, worrying about how Bella was holding up after losing her surrogate family. I knew from experience that time did not heal all wounds, but instead left scars on your soul. Underneath the scars, negative emotions would fester and smolder until they began eating away at your being. In my decades on this earth, I still have not found a way to truly heal the wounds of guilt and despair, only suppress them.

The time alone with Esme and Carlisle was cathartic, and it passed too quickly. I truly enjoyed bonding with my pseudo parents while starting our healing process. Alice was the first to arrive back home with new wardrobes for all. Retail therapy seemed to help her, and the guilt, pain, and loss were slightly dulled. I even saw a twinkle in her eye as she cleaned out my closet and replaced my clothes with her new finds. Em and Rose followed the next day, and Em regaled me with tales of hunting on the Savannah. Emmett's emotions almost mirrored Alice's. It was obvious he was healing, but every so often a spike of grief and sadness would envelop him. Rose was the surprise. I knew she never truly hated Bella, but her feelings for Edward had clouded her judgment. She was radiating near constant regret.

After the majority of the family had reunited, Carlisle decided it was time for Edward to come home. He had been given months to stew and wallow; he needed to come home so we could work on reconnecting as a family. Carlisle tracked his credit card to Rio de Janeiro, and he took off the following morning to bring him back.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I entered through the back door of our home, almost barreling into Rosalie. I skidded to a stop just as she asked, "Have you seen my bear of a husband? I want to go into town for some new furniture and I need the keys to the jeep."

Emmett either missed the fact that Rose was standing right in front of me or he didn't care because as he tackled me from behind, I plowed into Rosalie, taking her with me.

"Get up, idiot!" she yelled. "You ripped my new shirt! Just for that, _you_ are coming with me and _you_ willbuy me a new shirt."

"Aww, Rosie, Jazz and I were gonna have a Mario Kart tournament. I haven't played in months!"

"Too bad, go pull the jeep around. I'll be out as soon as I change."

I chuckled as Emmett loped through the front door, bathed in dread.

As the sounds of the jeep began to fade into the distance, I went upstairs to retreat to my shower. As I passed Esme's studio, she opened the door and gave me a small smile.

"Jasper, have you heard from Alice?"

"No, I haven't. Where is she?"

Worry began seeping from Esme "I don't know. She had a vision earlier, and I could tell she was distressed. She wouldn't tell me what was bothering her. She just asked to borrow the Mercedes and headed out the door."

I nudged Esme with a bit of calm and reassured her. "Well, usually she'll tell us what was in her visions, but that isn't unheard of. I'm sure she'll be back soon." She smiled at me gratefully and flitted down the stairs.

It had been hours since Esme questioned me about Alice, and by now concern was rolling off of her in waves. I attempted to keep her calm, but eventually it began wearing on me, so I sought refuge in the confines of my study. I could hear her periodically calling and leaving Alice messages as she flitted about the house, but they were never returned.

I heard Esme breathe a sigh of relief as we heard the tires of the Mercedes speeding up the driveway. I placed my book down on my desk and sped from the house, joining Esme in greeting Alice home. As the car drew nearer I was hit with a tempest of cycling emotions that nearly brought me to my knees: pain, loss, regret, grief, resolve, and determination were radiating from the little pixie.

As the car coasted to a stop in front of us, I was assaulted with the most god-awful scent I had ever come across. A wave of shock reverberated off of Esme as her eyes widened dramatically. Then, as I registered the next words she spoke, the shock was all mine.

"What the fuck?"

My eyes widened comically as my head whipped back and forth at vampire speed between Alice and Esme.

"What the fuck were werewolves doing in Carlisle's Mercedes, young lady? Answer me!" Esme scolded.

My head was still dancing between the two ladies in the driveway as I tried to determine if I was more shocked at the declaration of werewolves or the fact that Esme just said fuck. Twice. She said it twice. I couldn't wait to tell Emmett.

Alice broke down in tearless sobs at Esme's questioning. Grief overwhelmed her, and Esme's mothering instinct kicked in as she grabbed her daughter and comforted her in a loving embrace. I shoved as much calm and comfort in their direction as I could muster while a torrent of questions rattled around in my head.

"Alice, sugar, I need you to tell us what exactly is going on…because I am feeling a bit lost here."

She exhaled dramatically then described her vision of Bella jumping off a cliff. Esme let out an audible gasp, and the grief and guilt between the three of us increased exponentially. I took a deep breath, focusing on pushing my emotions down and pumping out calming waves. Alice continued on with her story, and the feelings of despair and grief were so strong I could no longer control my gift. My emotions cascaded out from my body. My head hung in shame at all this sweet girl had been through because of us. We had left her unprotected, and there were now two more innocent lives weighing on my conscience.

"And then I had a vision of you tracking me, Jazzy. You came across the wolf pack, and they didn't care about the treaty anymore, they attacked you. I had to come back." She looked at me pleadingly, but her emotions divulged so much more.

Deceit. My head snapped up as I glared at her. At the same moment, Esme dropped her arms to her sides and took a step away from Alice. I was still projecting, and my emotions turned to anger and rage at her lies.

"Why the fuck are you lying to me, Alice? Please explain to me why you would leave your best human fuckin' friend at a gas station in bumfuck Washington while a deranged psychopathic vampire is after her. Not to mention that she might need medical attention after jumping off a fucking cliff and running her truck off the road. You better have a damn good explanation, and _try the truth this time_."

"Answer his question right now, young lady! Why did you abandon your sister when she needed you the most? How could you do that?" Esme was livid and disgusted, her eyes wild with anger, just like a momma bear protecting its cubs.

Alice just collapsed to the ground, sobs wracking through her body. My jaw clenched as I fought the monster in me, my muscles contracting and rolling in anger. "I'm only asking this once, Alice. Where is she now?" My voice was shaking with anger.

"I d—don't know. I c—can't see her. Ever s—since she jumped…"

Esme darted into the house, and moments later she had reversed Rose's BMW out of the garage and had hopped into the passenger seat.

"We can start at the gas station and track her from there," Esme stated. "Alice, you call your father, and your brother and sister, and tell them what is going on. Have them get back here as soon as possible. Tell Carlisle that Edward can wait. Bella needs him." She turned toward me. "Well, Jasper? Are you just going to stand there, or are we going to go find Bella?"

"No, Esme_. I_ am going to go find Bella. _You_ are staying here with Alice. We might run into the wolves or Victoria, and I don't want to put you in unnecessary danger."

"Jasper Whitlock, you get your ass in this car right this fucking second and don't argue with me! _I am _going!My baby needs me." A whirlwind of motherly love and determination was dense and impenetrable. There would be no arguing with Esme in this state.

I jumped in the car and we took off down the driveway.

Hold on Bella, we're coming.


	5. Knight in Shining Loafers

**Chapter 5: Knight in Shining Loafers**

**Warning: Adult story, rated M. Please leave if you are under 18, or if you have issues with lemons, violence, and language.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the shiny reviews. Extra special hugs to my BBBF, givemesomevamp. She rocks! So does her story "The Quiet Room".**

**Kisses and hugs to JaspersDestiny for betareading my tweaked version. Vagina pats all around! *patpatpat***

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.**

Sometimes I truly curse my preternatural brain.

I have often heard humans complain that they have too many thoughts in their head to handle, or that they are over-thinking things. Well, try having a vampire's mental acuity. Currently my brain was rehashing Alice's tale, inspecting Esme's emotions, worrying about Bella's mental and physical states, calculating possible methods of tracking Bella, analyzing our departure from Forks and its consequences, tormenting myself over the paper cut incident and how she will react to seeing me once again, listening to the irritating rattling of a loose bolt on the BMW's left rear tire, and concentrating on controlling my strength so I wouldn't snap the steering wheel in two.

I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that Alice left Bella and lied to us about her motivations. The poor girl had been through so much in such a short amount of time, and Alice just left her unprotected at a truck stop entirely too close to Forks. Remembering that god-awful smell in the Mercedes, I am hoping that the smell of the wolf was enough to mask Bella's scent. If Victoria finds her before we do, then I am afraid that none of us will ever forgive her.

It's a running joke in our family that you never bet against Alice. Her visions have never failed us, but perhaps we have relied on them too much. Yes, she has always helped lead us down the paths with the most happiness and comfort, and until now I have never truly thought about the consequences of her meddling. I've known Alice for decades, and I cannot recall any instance in which she has lied to me. She would always state that she couldn't tell us what her vision consisted of or that if she told us, it would alter the outcome—all without a whisper of deceit. I know that Alice genuinely cares for Bella, so I cannot fathom her leaving without a good reason. Even though assisting Bella might not be the easiest path, I am confident that it is the correct one. I know that most of the family would give their lives to protect her without an ounce of regret.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the ringing of Esme's phone. She looked at the caller ID and sighed before answering.

"Hello, Rosalie, dear. Is there something I can help you with?" she asked.

"I just wanted to let you know that Em and I are at home. We just heard the story from _Alice_, and we're getting ready to head your way." The sneer in Rosalie's voice at the name of her sister made it obvious that she didn't approve of Alice's actions any more than the rest of us.

"Actually, Rose, I would prefer if you and Emmett stayed home for now. She could have already boarded a bus, and depending on the direction, you might be closer to intercepting her," I said, knowing that she would hear me easily with her keen sense of hearing.

"Yes, and I would appreciate it if you could try and contact your father and confirm that he knows of the situation and is heading home. I asked your sister to, but I would feel better if I knew for certain he is en route," Esme added.

Rosalie sighed. "Okay, we'll do that. But if you catch even the faintest scent of Victoria, you better call us immediately. I'll call Dad now and prepare a room for Bella. Once she is with you, we can run into town and pick up food and supplies, so you better call or text as soon as you find her."

"Thanks, sis. I promise." I was glad that Rose wasn't upset with our interfering or my insistence that she stay home. If Victoria was around, I knew I could handle her, but Rosalie and Emmett were impulsive and my goal was to get Bella to safety now and worry about Victoria later. "Hey Rose, do you think Emmett can start tracing Bella's credit card? She probably hasn't used it yet, but we need to know as soon as she does."

"He heard you, and he's working on it now."

I knew that if Bella had used her card at all, Emmett would find the transaction. He might look like a big lug, but his computer prowess is unparalleled. He loved the challenge of hacking into financial institutions, and more than once he had to deal with an irate pixie when he would cause her credit cards to be declined.

"He has something! There's a transaction for the Queets Trail Inn posted a few hours ago. He's texting you the address now, Esme." Rose couldn't hide the excitement in her voice.

Yes, it would be easier on us if she checked into a motel, but it also kept her closer to Forks and Victoria. I wasn't only worried about Victoria, but also her reasons for checking into a motel. Was she too injured to travel? My mind started cycling through the possibilities, tuning out Esme and Rose's continuing conversation, and prepared myself for the worst.

As we approached Queets, our anticipation and anxiety skyrocketed. Esme ended her call, and I decided it was time to discuss my plan of action.

"Esme, I don't know what we're gonna find, and I am hoping for the best, but we need to be prepared." Her emotions started spinning out of control, so I pushed a wave of calm to her and continued. "Once we find Bella, if Victoria is around we need to make sure to stick together. I want your focus on Bella, and I will worry about protecting you both from Victoria. If we get separated at all, you get Bella back home."

She nodded. "I don't like it, but I promise. I know that out of all my children, you are the most capable of defending your family. Everything will be fine. We will find her and bring her home together. I know it's in your nature to be prepared for every possibility, and I admire that, but you need to stop worrying, dear. You're starting to project."

I took a deep breath and focused on reining in my emotions, pushing calm out once more.

"I'm sorry. I'm worried about Bella and what state she will be in, emotionally and physically."

She chuckled. "I know you're worried about those things, but I also think you are concerned about how Bella will react when she sees you. Honey, I know you weren't as close to Bella as the rest of us, but you know her in a way the rest of us do not, through her emotions. Now, do you really think she would still be upset over her birthday?"

I sighed. "You're right, Mom. I'm worried about that as well. I know we have been over this before, but I just wish I could have apologized. And even if she is afraid or upset with me, I can calm her until she has healed enough to discuss it."

As we pulled into the truck stop, my phone buzzed in my pocket, indicating a new text. It was from Rosalie.

_I called the hotel. Annabelle McCarty checked into Room 16. She didn't answer the phone when they transferred me._

I handed the phone to Esme so she could read the message and swung the car around, crossing the street and pulling into the motel parking lot. I exited the BMW and immediately started sampling the air. Relief flowed through me as I realized the only vampire scents I registered belonged to Esme and Alice. For the first time in months, I could taste Bella's scent on my tongue.

We quickly located the correct room, and I could hear the distinct sound of her heartbeat on the other side of the door. I looked at Esme, took a deep breath, and worked to calm my frazzled nerves. Esme stepped forward and knocked, which caused the heartbeat on the other side of the door to speed significantly. Eventually we heard the rustling of fabric and unsteady footsteps approaching the door, followed by a hitch of breath as the sound of a shoe catching on the carpet echoed through the early morning.

I kicked the door open without hesitation, just in time to whip around Bella and catch her by the waist before she tumbled to the floor.

"Wow, those really are ugly-ass loafers!" Bella giggled.

I pulled her upright, and as I tried to steady her I noticed the scent of alcohol in the air. _Bella was drunk._ I gingerly pulled her in the direction of the bed and motioned for her to sit down. Once she was safely perched on the bed, I sent a current of peace and love through the room as I crouched in front of her, and I began analyzing her condition.

I carefully tasted the air and determined that she was not truly drunk, but she'd definitely imbibed a drink or two of cheap whiskey. Her hair was frazzled, tucked into a messy bun. Although I could feel that she was in physical pain, I couldn't pinpoint it. There were no cuts or bruises visible, and I didn't smell blood from an open wound. She had lost a significant amount of weight since the last time we saw her. Bella's cheeks were sunken and her frame was slight. The most obvious difference was the pain and anguish that echoed through her eyes. They were bloodshot and puffy from crying, making her seem much older than her mere 18 years, which broke my unbeating heart. Her emotions were muted from the alcohol, but I could still feel pain, panic, loss, abandonment, worthlessness, and fear emanating from her. Wary that I was the cause of her fear and not Victoria, I slowly rose and backed away from her as unthreateningly as I could.

"Oh, sweetheart, what did we do to you?" I whispered, looking into her brown eyes that no longer sparkled.

Esme closed the door and seated herself next to Bella on the bed, capturing one of her hands and resting it in both of her own. Bella broke from my gaze and turned toward Esme, her panic transforming into determination and sadness as she fought back the tears that threatened to escape.

"What are you doing here? You need to leave. Please, just leave me alone," she begged, her voice thick with emotion.

Esme hesitantly wiped at Bella's cheek. "Bella, honey, please don't cry. We aren't going anywhere until we go home, and you will be coming with us when we do."

"N—no, you have to leave. I won't go. Alice left. Please, just go. I'm no good for you."

Poor Bella… The emotional impact of our hasty departure was greater than I feared.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you stop that nonsense right now! I know you're upset with us for leaving, but not a minute has gone by that we did not regret that decision. _You_ are in danger, _you_ have lost so much, and _you_ need your family. Don't you dare argue with me! You _are_ coming home. We haven't been the same without you. We need you just as much as you need us. Please…my daughter, come home with us." Esme's tone softened as her tirade turned into a plea.

My phone buzzed for the second time tonight, indicating a text. It was from Emmett.

_Have you found her yet? Hurry up and bring my baby sister home!_

I typed a quick reply to Em, letting him know we had found her and were in her motel room. A small smile graced my lips as an idea formed in my head, and I tossed Esme the phone, not wanting to get close enough to Bella to startle her.

"Bella, that text is from Emmett. Why don't you read it?" She glanced at the text and a small spike of happiness and longing emerged from her before it quickly disappeared.

"Bella, I know this probably isn't the right time, sweetheart, but I need to apologize for attacking you on your birthday. If you are afraid to come home because of me..." I began before Bella quickly interrupted me, her head snapping up and her eyes looking quite fierce.

"I am_ not_ afraid of you, Jasper Hale! What happened at my birthday was entirely my fault, not yours. If anyone needs to apologize, it is me. If you must know, I am terrified that Victoria will find us and then one of you will get hurt trying to protect my stupid human ass." Her voice was unwavering and her emotions were full of conviction. She truly wasn't afraid of me.

I crossed the room quickly, kneeling once more in front of her. "You don't need to worry about us. We can take care of ourselves. We are worried about _you_. I know we abandoned you, and I will regret that for the rest of my existence, but we really do want you to come home with us. We can help you through this entire mess." She opened her mouth to say something, so I held my hand up to indicate I wasn't finished.

"Bella, I know I have said this to you before, but I can feel what you are feeling, and _you are worth it_."

At my words, Bella finally succumbed to her tears. As sobs wracked her body, Esme pulled Bella into her arms, comforting her the way only a mother can. I placed my hand gently on her knee and did the only thing I could think of to help her understand. I used my talent to flood Bella with the love and concern that Esme and I were feeling.

Bella looked up and gave me a small smile as Esme whispered quiet reassurances to her.

"Bella, sweetheart, I know you're concerned about our safety, but you shouldn't be. Let me just say that I have no doubt that we can handle Victoria. I know how to fight, and I promise to keep you safe."

Before she had a chance to reply, my phone began to ring. Esme looked at the caller ID and passed me the phone. Once again, it was Emmett. Frustration poured through me as I answered.

"Emmett, can't you give us a few minutes? I know you're an impatient jackass, but—"

"Dude, shut up! Is there a TV in that shithole? Turn on the news! We have problems, bro."

Before I could react, Esme was up and flipping through the channels, trying to locate the news.

…_.Once again we are looking at a bird's eye view of the sleepy town of Forks, Washington, where the town's Chief of Police, Charles Swan, was found brutally murdered behind his home in what appears to be a ritual killing. The body was discovered after the local fire department responded to a 911 call from neighbors approximately five hours ago indicating the Swan residence was on fire. When the fire crew arrived, the house was completely engulfed in flames, and the body was found after the fire was extinguished. There are unsubstantiated reports that there was another body located in the rubble. Eighteen year old Isabella Swan, the police chief's daughter, is still missing and currently presumed dead. Her truck was found abandoned less than 10 miles from her house. Authorities believe it was stolen by the perpetrators then abandoned. Reports state that she was seen returning to the house shortly before authorities were notified of the fire. If you have any information about this crime, please call the number at the bottom of your screen…_

Esme reached over and turned the television off, bathing the room in an unnatural silence.

"Anyone there?" Emmett's voice pierced the quiet that had built up in the room.

I lifted the phone to my ear and answered, "Yeah, Em, we're all here."

"It's on all the major networks. They called off the search for Baby Bells already because they found that other body in the house. Basically, she's presumed dead, but you still might wanna think about skedaddling A.S.A.P. Is she all right?"

"She will be. We still haven't discussed her injuries, but I didn't smell any fresh wounds when we found her," I said, taking another sniff of the air to confirm my earlier diagnosis.

"Well, you know Bells. She's always hurting herself. It's probably just from an old injury, or it could be Charl—"

"Emmett, she is in the room," I interrupted, not wanting to remind her of her earlier experience and not knowing if she could hear Emmett's side of the conversation. I couldn't help but wonder if she had found Charlie's body. I'd have to question her later.

"Oh, erm, sorry. Anyways, Maggie even called Rosie, thinking we still lived there, when she saw the newscast. It must be pretty bad down there if the story has already gone international."

I glanced at Bella, still sitting on the bed, Esme once again hugging her fiercely to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. Her emotions were less muted. The alcohol was slowly burning through her system, but grief and panic were prevalent. I pushed calm, love, and compassion in her direction.

"NO!" Alice's hysterical scream reverberated through the phone.

"Em, what the hell is going on?" I yelled into the phone, catching Esme and Bella's attention immediately.

"She's having a vision…just a sec." I could hear him asking her what she saw in a calm voice as her tearless sobs registered through the phone. I didn't really want to hear what the hell was in this vision. I couldn't analyze her emotions through the phone and, sadly, I didn't trust her or her word any longer.

"Dude, I don't know what she saw, but she grabbed her phone and dialed Carlisle's number." He paused. "Did you catch that?"

"Yeah," I answered. Alice was asking Carlisle where he was and how fast it would take him to get to Rio. Suddenly, the sounds of Alice crumpling to the floor registered in my mind as the most heartbreaking, pain-filled wail exited her tiny body. I couldn't imagine the vision that would cause this torment in her.

"Hand the phone to her, Em."

Once I heard him relinquish the phone to Alice, I said, "Ali, you need to calm down and tell us what you saw."

She sobbed a few times and answered, "Edward. He saw the newscast in Rio and is heading to Volterra."

Esme stiffened and gasped. We all understood the ramifications of this vision now. Edward thought Bella was dead and was going to invoke the wrath of the Volturi. I growled. Only that fucking douche bag would be stupid enough to commit suicide by vampire—and he didn't even check with any of us before heading off to fuckin' Volterra! If he would have, he would know that Bella is fine and sitting right in front of me.

"Alice, is there anything we can do?" Esme asked, panic shooting through her body.

At this point, Bella was looking back and forth between Esme and me, a questioning look on her face.

"I tried calling his phone first, and someone else answered. He must have discarded it, knowing I would see his decision and try to stop him. Carlisle's plane just took off from Brasilia, headed back to the US. There is no chance for him to intervene." Alice paused. "No, Emmett, don't even think about it. If you and Rose go, the Volturi just end up killing all three of you, so forget about it."

"What if I go, Alice?" I asked. I didn't want to leave Bella, but I knew if she lost Edward now so soon after losing Charlie, she might never recover. Plus, unlike the others, I'd had an encounter with the Volturi before and knew what I was getting into.

"If you're going, I'm going too. You said we had to stick together, remember?" Esme stated. Poor Esme, she just gained back a daughter after a terrible tragedy, and now she was about to lose a son.

"No, Esme, too dangerous, and don't argue with me. This is different, and Carlisle would tell you the same thing," I said, pushing my determination to her, letting her know I wouldn't back down easily.

"Would someone explain to the poor little human what the hell is going on? And can't you put the damn phone on speaker or something?" Bella said, still looking back and forth between me and Esme as I hit the speaker button on my telephone.

"Sweetheart, do you know about the Volturi?" I asked.

Her eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Edward is heading to the Volturi to pull a Romeo, isn't he?" I was surprised by how fast she grasped the situation. "We have to stop him! What are we waiting for?"

"Oh, no, Bella, you and Esme are heading home. I will try to head Edward off."

"Wait, Jazz!" Alice interjected. "Before Bella decided to go, every vision ended with Edward and whoever went after him dying. For some reason, I can't see Bella, so I can't see what will happen, but I definitely see snippets of you, Esme, and Edward at home afterwards. I don't know about Bella, though… I don't know how to search for fuzzy blank spots."

"Let's go then!" Bella said as she disentangled herself from Esme as both women stood up, determination mirrored between their features.

"No, no way! I am not gonna be responsible for getting you killed. I am not taking you with me. That goes for you too, Esme."

"Look," Bella said as she moved forward until we were almost touching, never breaking my gaze, "you said you wanted me as a part of the family. You said you could protect me from Victoria. If you want me to go home with you, then you are taking me with you. I have lost my best friend and my father today. I will not survive losing Edward. I'll take my chances with the Volturi. Now, are you taking me with you, or are you going to get the fuck out of my motel room?"

If this wasn't such a serious situation, I would have laughed at her. She looked like a fierce little kitten.

"Jazzy, you have to believe me. This is the only way. I'm not lying to you. You three have to go or our family will fall apart. I would never intentionally hurt Bella, you know I love her. Please!" Alice was sobbing by the time she was done.

I couldn't take it any longer. I hung up the phone and began to pace. Within seconds, my phone buzzed with a text from a number I didn't recognize.

_All six of you will make it out of this just fine, Major. And stop pacing, you stupid motherfucker!_

I stopped pacing. There was only one person in existence that still referred to me as Major. Fucking Peter! But if there was one person in this world I could trust with my life, it was him. But still, six of us? Every time he fucking calls me, I end up with more questions than answers.

I guess we're all going to Volterra. Now I just have to figure out how to get Bella out of the country without being noticed, save Edward's dumb ass, overcome my bloodlust in a building with dozens of vampires, and keep Bella from getting eaten. This should be easy, right?

I looked at both of the girls and said, "Get in the damn car before I change my mind."


	6. Cullen Airlines

**Chapter 6: Cullen Airlines**

**Warning: Under-18s not allowed. This is an M-rated fanfic with violence, lemons, and language.**

**Special thanks to my awesome BBBF, givemesomevamp. **

**Since JaspersDestiny is betareading this tweaked version of UYS, she deserves millions of sloppy kisses. Thank you so much, Teenerpeener.**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

_God, I look like shit._

I had avoided the mirrors when I was dressing in the truck stop, so this was the first time I had really examined my body. Once I recovered from the shock of the most surreal phone conversation I had ever experienced, I followed Puddin' Man's advice: I went into the store, bought the cheapest bottle of whiskey they sold, and rented room 16 at the Queets Trail Inn.

Figuring I was the only person that would be drinking the whiskey, I opened the bottle and took a swig. Being the daughter of a cop, I had never tried alcohol before, and I wasn't prepared for the taste or the burn going down the back of my throat. I coughed and spluttered until I could hardly breathe, then started the process over again. After three more long pulls, I could feel the aches and pains that were wracking through my body lessen, and my mind clouded slightly.

Since I didn't want to be a stumbling drunk—just what a habitual klutz needs—I screwed the lid back on the bottle and sat on the bed. I wasn't sure if I sat there for days, hours, or minutes, completely lost in my thoughts. I was thankful for the fuzziness in my mind from drinking the whiskey because it made the memories seem more like a dream. My mind seemed to fast forward through the extremely atrocious parts, protecting me from the horrifying turn my life had made.

I couldn't help but focus on Alice's reappearance, since this seemed like the least burdensome development to my fragile state. To say I was shocked that she'd come back for me was an understatement. She'd left me just like the rest of the Cullens had, only to come back to help me when I needed it the most. Maybe she really did love me? _But if she loved me, why didn't she say goodbye when they left? _I had spent the last six months healing over their abandonment, and if it weren't for Jacob putting me back together, I would have been dead long before now.

Jacob. Charlie. Blood. _No, Bella! Stop thinking about it!_

As the horrific thoughts threatened to consume me once more, my body stiffened, causing pain to shoot through my ribs and into my chest. Even though the pain was unwelcome, it managed to snuff my train of thought.

I slowly stood and shuffled over to the mirror, carefully peeling the long-sleeved shirt from my body. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot, with huge bags underneath them from lack of sleep. Bruises littered my arms and chest, the worst being a large, black, half-circle bruise on my upper torso from my contact with the steering wheel. My throat and lungs still ached from my near drowning, the pain slowly returning as the alcohol left my system.

As I continued assessing my injuries, there was a knock at the door. A burst of panic raced through my body, but it quickly subsided as I realized that Victoria wouldn't be polite enough to knock on the door before ripping my throat out. As quickly as I could, I re-dressed, took a deep breath, and staggered toward the door. About halfway there, the tip of my shoe caught on the carpet, causing me to stumble toward the floor. As I threw my hands out to brace myself for impact, a loud crash registered in my brain and I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for death. Suddenly two large, cold hands wrapped around my middle, stopping me before I could collide with the floor. I opened my eyes to the sight of two black, shiny loafers with blue trim and what looked like pewter horse toggles across the tops. The words of the Puddin' Man crossed my mind.

"Wow, those really _are_ ugly-ass loafers." I giggled.

Mystery hands pulled me upright and steadied me, pulling my body toward the bed as I was flooded with peace and calm.

Jasper? What the _hell _is he doing here? What about Alice's vision? Where is Alice? Why can't the Cullens just leave me alone?

I slowly sat down on the bed and attempted to hide the pain and soreness in my body as Jasper crouched in front of me, his eyes filled with concern as they scanned my body.

_I'm no good for you, for any of you. I am the bringer of death, blood, and destruction; the destroyer of worlds, my world. I don't want to destroy your world, too. Please, go away. Go away before Victoria finds you. I've already killed Charlie and Jacob._

Suddenly his eyes widened slightly. He slowly stood and backed away from me until his back was flush with the wall.

"Oh, sweetheart, what did we do to you?" he whispered, his gaze never leaving mine.

I heard the door click shut and the mattress shift beneath me as another person I hadn't noticed sat down. Someone's cold hand snaked out, grabbed mine, and sandwiched it between their own. I turned my head to see who the mystery vampire was.

_Esme._

No, I can't believe Esme is here. If she didn't want me, why is she here? She _was_ like a mother to me, and she _left_.

_Please, just go away. I don't want to hurt you, any of you._

"What are you doing here? You need to leave. Please, just leave me alone," I said, fighting back tears.

Esme looked at me, her eyes filled with sadness, and replied, "Bella, honey, please don't cry. We aren't going anywhere until we go home, and you _will_ be coming with us when we do."

No, I can't go with them. Victoria will hurt them. I will hurt them. I'm just a human. I can't risk their lives to save my own. Didn't Edward tell them? Don't they know? I'm no good for them. Alice had understood because she left again.

"N—no, you have to leave. I won't go. Alice left. Please, just go. I'm no good for you."

"Isabella Marie Swan, you stop that nonsense right now! I know you're upset with us for leaving, but not a minute has gone by that we did not regret that decision. _You_ are in danger, _you_ have lost so much, and _you_ need your family. Don't you dare argue with me! You _are_ coming home. We haven't been the same without you. We need you just as much as you need us. Please…my daughter, come home with us."

I was shocked. Edward had told me he didn't want me. I'd felt like they didn't want me when they left me. But Esme just called me her daughter…

The sound of Jasper's phone buzzing through the silent room pulled me from my musings. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at it briefly as the corner of his mouth pulled up in a half-smile. He tossed the phone to Esme and said, "Bella, that text is from Emmett. Why don't you read it?"

_"Have you found her yet? Hurry up and bring my baby sister home!"_

Emmett still wanted me! I couldn't believe it. I've really missed him…but no, I can't put him or any of the Cullens in danger. It doesn't matter.

As Jasper started talking, my head snapped up to meet his gaze. "Bella, I know this probably isn't the right time, sweetheart, but I need to apologize for attacking you on your birthday. If you are afraid to come home because of me..."

Anger was coursing through my body. How could he think I was afraid of him? It wasn't his fault, it was mine! He was just following his instincts. I'm the one that cut my stupid finger.

"I'm _not_ afraid of you, Jasper Hale! What happened at my birthday was entirely my fault, not yours. If anyone needs to apologize, it is me. If you must know, I am terrified that Victoria will find us and then one of you will get hurt trying to protect my stupid human ass."

He crossed the room at vampire speed and kneeled in front of me once again.

_It's kinda weird that it doesn't seem to bother him to be this close to me; it always did before._

"You don't need to worry about us. We can take care of ourselves. We are worried about _you_. I know we abandoned you, and I will regret that for the rest of my existence, but we really do want you to come home with us. We can help you through this entire mess."

Sincerity was clear in his eyes as he spoke. He truly believed this was the Cullens' fault.

Alice came back for me. Esme came back for me. Emmett wants me. But Edward doesn't want me. I can't put them in danger.

_I'm not worth it. I'm no good for you._

I opened my mouth to correct him, but he held his hand up to let me know he wasn't finished.

"Bella, I know I've said this to you before, but I can feel what you are feeling, and _you are worth it_."

_I remember now._ _It was Jasper_. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but I remembered him saying that when we were running from James. He still believed it; he still believed that I was worth it.

I began sobbing, and tears began to trickle down my cheeks as Esme pulled me into a motherly hug. She was whispering in my ear, but the words weren't sinking in. I felt Jasper place his hand on my knee in a comforting gesture as love and concern flooded my body. Slowly, I realized these weren't the manufactured emotions I was used to receiving from Jasper; they were his and Esme's feelings. I couldn't believe the strength of the love as it enveloped me in a comforting cocoon. I looked up and gave Jasper a small smile full of the gratitude I was feeling at this moment.

_I can't believe they want me. Edward said I was a distraction, but you don't love distractions this deeply._

_Earth to Bella, I believe you call this a motherfucking epiphany. Edward Cullen is full of shit._

_It doesn't matter. I'm still no good for them._

Jasper's voice pulled me from my confused thoughts.

"Bella, sweetheart, I know you're concerned about our safety, but you shouldn't be. Let me just say that I have no doubt that we can handle Victoria. I know how to fight, and I promise to keep you safe."

That's exactly what Jacob had told me, and now he's dead, his poor body mangled, covered in blood and bite marks.

Before I could disagree with him, his phone rang again. Esme glanced at the caller ID and passed it to Jasper.

"Emmett, can't you give us a few minutes? I know you're an impatient jackass, but—"

Jasper's eyes widened as he was cut off. Esme jumped up and sped over to the television, flipping through the channels in a determined manner.

_What the hell is going on?_

…_.Once again we are looking at a bird's eye view of the sleepy town of Forks, Washington…Charles Swan…brutally murdered…ritual killing…fire...body…Isabella Swan…still missing and currently presumed dead._

The words trailed off and lost their meaning as torrents of memories I wished I could forget plagued my consciousness. I barely registered Esme's arms holding me fiercely against her as horrifying images flashed through my mind. Jasper's calm and love flooded through me once more, pulling me out of my downward spiral.

"Em, what the hell is going on?" Jasper yelled, causing my and Esme's heads to snap up simultaneously. Jasper's brows were furrowed in concentration, and Esme's face was full of panic. What the hell was going on?

"Yeah."

"Hand the phone to her, Em."

"Ali, you need to calm down and tell us what you saw."

Esme stiffened and gasped then asked, "Alice, is there anything we can do?"

Slowly catching on, I knew that Alice had had a vision and, whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.

"What if I go, Alice?" Jasper said.

"If you're going, I'm going too. You said we had to stick together, remember?" Esme interjected, her body shaking from the terrors of whatever Alice had seen.

"No, Esme, too dangerous, and don't argue with me. This is different, and Carlisle would tell you the same thing," Jasper said, pushing determination at us to prove his point.

I was getting fed up with this bullshit. They had just finished telling me that they loved me and that I was a member of their family, but I wasn't allowed to be involved in the important vampire conversation.

Stupid-ass vampires and their stupid-ass attitudes. Enough of this shit!

"Would someone explain to the poor little human what the hell is going on? And can't you put the damn phone on speaker or something?" I looked back and forth between Esme and Jasper, waiting for one of them to fill me in.

I think I saw a flicker of surprise flash across Jasper's face, and then he hit the speaker button on the telephone.

_Thank you, Jasper._

"Sweetheart, do you know about the Volturi?" he asked me.

Oh no, the _news_! Edward must have heard that I was dead. Feeling guilty, he's going to the Volturi. But he can't go to the Volturi! Poor Esme… She doesn't deserve to lose her son!

"Oh, crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Edward is heading to the Volturi to pull a Romeo, isn't he? We have to stop him! What are we waiting for?"

"Oh, no, Bella, you and Esme are heading home. I will try to head Edward off," Jasper said, pissing me off.

"Wait, Jazz!" Alice interjected. "Before Bella decided to go, every vision ended with Edward and whoever went after him dying. For some reason, I can't see Bella, so I can't see what will happen, but I definitely see snippets of you, Esme, and Edward at home afterwards. I don't know about Bella, though… I don't know how to search for fuzzy blank spots."

"Let's go then!" I said as Esme and I both stood up.

"No, no way! I am not gonna be responsible for getting you killed. I am not taking you with me. That goes for you too, Esme."

_Oh, hell no! I am sick and fucking tired of stupid vampires making decisions for me._ Jacob might have been a werewolf, but he allowed me to make my own damn mistakes. I promised him I would live, and part of living is taking risks. I _cannot_ allow Edward to die because of me. If they really want me as a part of their family, they better realize that it is as an equal, not as a pitiful human! Doesn't he understand? I have lost my father and best friend. I can't even risk contacting my mom for fear of leading psychotic vampires to her front doorstep. If I lose Edward, there will be no putting me back together again. I'll have caused too many deaths of loved ones. I would rather die than watch the Cullen family be torn apart. I know what the pain feels like, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

_Well, I wasn't planning on endangering their lives by going home with them, but it's my only bargaining tool at the moment._

"Look," I said as I walked toward Jasper, stopping right in front of him, "you said you wanted me as a part of the family. You said you could protect me from Victoria. If you want me to go home with you, then you are taking me with you. I have lost my best friend and my father today. I will not survive losing Edward. I'll take my chances with the Volturi. Now, are you taking me with me, or are you going to get the fuck out of my motel room?"

"Jazzy, you have to believe me. This is the only way. I'm not lying to you. You three have to go or our family will fall apart. I would never intentionally hurt Bella, you know I love her. Please!" Alice was sobbing.

Wait, _lying_? What the heck has been going on with the Cullens?

Jasper began furiously pacing from one end of the room to the other, and Esme and I stood frozen in place. His brow was furrowed and I could see the gears turning in his mind. His phone buzzed once again, indicating a message. He looked at it, sighed, and then turned to face us.

"Get in the damn car before I change my mind."

At vampire speed, Esme grabbed my small bag, scooped me up, and ran me out to Rosalie's red BMW.

She climbed in the back seat with me, holding my hand.

"Bella, I can feel that you're in pain, but I'm unable to pinpoint it. Tell me exactly what your injuries are so I can know if we need to find you a doctor. Esme, call Rosalie now. Carlisle won't be answering his phone, so Rose's medical expertise will have to do," Jasper barked at us, clearly attempting to gain some semblance of control over the whole screwed up situation.

Esme dialed the phone as I rattled through my injuries. "Well, mostly I'm just bruised, which isn't anything new, but the one on my chest from the steering wheel hurts the worst. My throat and chest hurt from all the saltwater, and I have a headache."

Esme turned the speakerphone on so I could hear Rosalie as she assessed my injuries. She asked me a few questions and then said that nothing sounded too serious and that I should be fine. I smirked slightly when I realized that that was the longest conversation I had ever had with her just as my stomach growled.

"Bella, dear, when was the last time you had anything to eat?" Esme asked.

"Umm, I don't remember," I said sheepishly.

"We'll stop and get you something in Lynden. Rose would tear me to pieces if I let you eat in her car. Can you wait a couple of hours? I don't want to stop this close to Forks," Jasper said, looking at me in the rearview mirror.

"No, that's fine. I'm not really hungry."

"Well, you need to eat. It's a long flight, and I don't want you getting sick from not eating. Esme, when we get to Lynden, one of us is going to have to run Bella across the border. I don't want to take a chance of anyone recognizing her. We have to be careful, knowing that Victoria is out there somewhere."

"Why run me across the border when they could recognize me at the airport?" I asked.

"We own a private airstrip on the other side of the Canadian border. We pay the employees well and they don't ask questions. We'll worry about Customs in Italy when we get there," he said.

"I can run her across the border, Jasper. Would you like us to meet you at the airfield?" Esme asked.

"No, if you can wait about a mile up from the border, I'll pull over and pick you up. Depending on how long it takes to pass the border guards, we should only be separated for a few minutes."

Esme picked up her phone and made the necessary arrangements to get their jet prepared for takeoff. Apparently we were making a fuel stop in Dallas and another in Paris. I listened to Esme's conversation on and off to keep my mind free from wandering.

Once Esme completed her phone call, the car was bathed in silence. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but it was obvious that Esme was quite worried and Jasper looked pissed, so I decided to save my questions for later.

Eventually we arrived in Lynden, and Jasper stopped at a McDonald's so I could grab something to eat. I sat down as Esme ordered for me, and I gobbled down the food as quickly as I could, not really paying attention to what I was eating.

Once I was finished, we returned to the BMW and Jasper drove us to the edge of town. He pulled over and we exited the car. Jasper once again told Esme where to meet him, and we took off flying through the trees, Esme carrying me as gingerly as possible in her stone embrace. It was a cold, overcast morning, but thankfully there was no rain. Esme stopped and helped me to my feet at the edge of the forest, where the road was clearly visible.

"Esme, Jasper doesn't seem to be having any problems controlling his bloodlust now, and just six months ago he attacked me. I really don't blame him for that, but I was wondering what changed?" I asked her, taking advantage of the fact that Jasper wasn't around to hear this conversation.

"I really think you should ask Jasper that question. I don't know if he'll tell you or not, but that is _his_ secret to tell," she said, her eyes full of motherly love.

"He truly has been upset over attacking you, and I hope you can help alleviate some of his guilt. He's had a difficult life, and he deserves to be as happy as he can possibly be. I have a feeling the two of you will be getting along famously soon."

Before I had time to contemplate Esme's words, I saw the BMW pulling over. Jasper exited the vehicle at a slightly quicker than human pace, and his eyes scanned the forest frantically. Esme and I walked from the tree line, and the moment he spotted us I could see the muscles in his shoulders relax as he gave me a relieved smile.

Before I knew it, we had pulled up to a small guard shack and Esme rolled down her window and greeted the guard. We pulled through and Jasper parked the car in an outbuilding next to a huge hangar. No matter how many times had I witnessed the Cullens' affluence, it still shocked me. The attendants taxied a huge plane out onto the runway and prepared it for boarding. When everything was ready, Jasper placed a hand on the small of my back and guided me up the steps.

Once inside, I took a seat in a large, comfortable chair as Jasper took the one directly across from me.

"Where's Esme?"

Jasper smirked. "You're flying Cullen Airlines today, sweetheart. Esme is your pilot."

"Huh, I never pictured Esme as a pilot."

His smirk turned into a full smile. "Esme, Rosalie, and I all have our certifications. You never know when you're going to have to fly across the world to save your dumbass brother. It's good to be prepared."

I returned his smile, but it was interrupted by a huge yawn.

"You should get some rest, Bella. It's going to be a long flight."

My eyes widened as panic consumed me. I couldn't close my eyes.

Jasper shot a wave of calm at me. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I couldn't answer coherently. My body refused to be calmed and panic engulfed me.

"Nightmare…blood…Dad…No!" My breath came out in gasps and tears flooded my eyes.

Jasper scooped me up and sat me in his lap. He placed his large, cool hands on either side of my face, the torrents of calm increasing with his touch. He guided my head upward so I was looking into his eyes, and I noticed they were clouded with unshed tears of venom.

I took deep breaths and forced myself to calm down, realizing that Jasper would be feeling all the pain and panic that I was. I focused on his eyes, which had darkened since I'd become upset, and slowly my breathing evened out and my body relaxed in his arms. I attempted to give him a small smile, but I was positive it looked more like a grimace.

"Sweetheart, let me help you sleep just until we get to Dallas. I give you my word that I'll keep the nightmares away. We can't have you going to Volterra looking like a zombie. What would Edward think?"

"No, I don't want to sleep right now, but thank you for the offer," I said curtly, pulling myself out of his embrace and settling back in my chair. I crossed my arms and snapped, "And why the hell would Edward care what I look like? Didn't you get the memo? I'm just a distraction to him. I was never good enough for him, or for any of you, for that matter. I'm surprised he feels guilty enough to fucking go to the Volturi in the first place!"

Jasper leaned forward, his eyes narrowed, and he growled, "I think it's time we have a little chat about Edward."


End file.
